Last week Doritos debuted their aesthetically (and palatably) pleasing limited edition rainbow chips.

Unsurprisingly titled Doritos Rainbows, the move was a push to promote the It Gets Better Project, a campaign focused on providing support to struggling LGBT youth.

WOW! A tasty classic American snack in rad new colors and it helps prevent suicides in teenagers? Who could possibly be offended by that, right? Ha ha, good one.

Mike Melgaard (you may know him as the Target troll) created a faux Doritos Help page to give the offended parties a taste of their own hypersensitive medicine.

WWJD? “Jesus would eat Doritos,” Melgaard responds to a Pastor.

Watch him burn Subway:

Also Kim Davis.

And explain why cross-shaped Doritos simply wouldn’t work:

Cringe collectively with us on this one:

And marvel at the fact that dinosaurs do still exist!

Bye girl fly girl.

This one really takes the rainbow cake:

And sympathize with the man who never bought Doritos in the first place…but now DEFINITELY will not buy Doritos, ever.

You can never go wrong with a dick joke.

Ever.

“Fagbook” has such a nice ring to it, though.

But seriously, what did Taco Bell ever do to deserve this?

Melgaard took to his own Facebook to really drive his point home: